Recently, a young man came to me and said, 'Swamiji, I love a girl and want to marry her. She is beautiful. She is also well educated. Her father is rich-enough. If I marry her, I will be happy!'
He had brought his girl friend along and she was waiting in the aisle. I asked him to bring her along.
'Why are you planning to marry him?" I asked the girl. 'My lover is highly cultured. He has good qualities and is very humorous. He is hardworking and sure to come up in life. So, he can keep me happy!' was her response.
Anyone viewing this couple superficially, would immediately declare, 'They are made for each other'! But I had my doubts. If they get married with their respective attitudes, they might not be happy.
Now I share with you a few thoughts that I expressed to them.
The man begs happiness from his girl friend, while the girl expects happiness from her boyfriend. When they get married to each other, what would be the result? How can one beggar running after happiness provide happiness to another beggar? Only beggary would increase.
My advice to married people is - do not think of how your partner makes you happy... instead think how you make your partner happy! Marriage works when we are givers of happiness and not beggars of happiness.
Take enticing items for an example. We are happy to receive them as gifts for ourselves. But isn't it much more joyous to offer gifts to others…that too, to one's beloved?
`Giving' opens up a higher centre; hence joyous feeling arises.
-Oh Mind Relax Please, Swami Sukhabodhananda
If both beg for happiness, only beggary increases... in a marriage.
https://archive.org/details/OhMindRelaxPlease
He had brought his girl friend along and she was waiting in the aisle. I asked him to bring her along.
'Why are you planning to marry him?" I asked the girl. 'My lover is highly cultured. He has good qualities and is very humorous. He is hardworking and sure to come up in life. So, he can keep me happy!' was her response.
Anyone viewing this couple superficially, would immediately declare, 'They are made for each other'! But I had my doubts. If they get married with their respective attitudes, they might not be happy.
Now I share with you a few thoughts that I expressed to them.
The man begs happiness from his girl friend, while the girl expects happiness from her boyfriend. When they get married to each other, what would be the result? How can one beggar running after happiness provide happiness to another beggar? Only beggary would increase.
My advice to married people is - do not think of how your partner makes you happy... instead think how you make your partner happy! Marriage works when we are givers of happiness and not beggars of happiness.
Take enticing items for an example. We are happy to receive them as gifts for ourselves. But isn't it much more joyous to offer gifts to others…that too, to one's beloved?
`Giving' opens up a higher centre; hence joyous feeling arises.
-Oh Mind Relax Please, Swami Sukhabodhananda
If both beg for happiness, only beggary increases... in a marriage.
Marriage is a commitment to change each other's habits for better living.
https://archive.org/details/OhMindRelaxPlease
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