Pitr lok

Gurudev, what is Pitr? And what is Pitr lok?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
After leaving the physical body, the place where soul departs to is Pitr Loka.
These lokas are present here only. It is like TV channels. If you change a channel on the television, that does not mean the other channel disappears. It is still there, but you just can't see it.
Similarly, we can see only this dimension, but there are other dimensions also that are present here, which we cannot see.

The mind is like a television box, and the soul is where we have all the channels. This is so interesting.
You know, it is so mind-boggling, there are so many layers to this creation; one layer is of human life, another layer is of the departed souls, another layer is of the deities (everything happens from this layer). Then there is the layer of the Gandharva (the realm of music).
Any renowned musician you meet, they have a Gandharva soul attached to them.
Like this, the creation has many layers.

http://www.artofliving.org/wisdom-q-a-14-june-2014-qa-2?mobile=1

Discover & Change 15 types of Distorted Thinking

THOUGHT DISTORTIONS

1. Tunnel vision

Example: "I expect it'll be another boring party".

It is being stuck in a mental groove. In particular you look for that which confirms your fear or prejudice, remember it from the past and expect it in the future. You ignore other points of view or the possibility of alternative solutions.

2. Awfulising

Example: "I can't bear going on these awful buses".

This attitude is saying that it's unacceptable if things aren't as you would prefer them to be. You take the negative aspect of a situation and magnify it. To handle this, recognize when you use words like terrible, awful, disgusting, etc. and in particular the phrase "I can't stand it". Examine their rationality.

3. Black & White Thinking

Example: "You're either for me or against me".

Things are black or white, wonderful or terrible, a great success or a total failure, brilliantly clever or really stupid, a certainty or a complete mystery, friend or enemy, love or hate - there is no middle ground, no room for improvement, no room for mistakes. judgments on self and others swing from one emotional extreme to another and are easily triggered. It is important to remember that human beings are just too complex to be reduced to dichotomous judgments, and that all qualities fall somewhere along a continuum, containing elements of either extreme.

4. Generalization

Example: "I'll never be any good at tennis" after one poor game.

In this distortion you make a broad, generalized conclusion, often couched in the form of absolute statements, based on a single piece of evidence. If something bad happens once, you expect it to happen over and over again. If someone shows evidence of a negative trait, this is picked up on and exaggerated into a global judgment. This inevitably leads to a more and more restricted life and your view of the world becomes stereotyped. Cue words that indicate you may be over-generalizing are: all, every, none, never, always, everybody and nobody. To become more flexible use words such as: may, sometimes and often, and be particularly sensitive to absolute statements about the future, such as "No one will ever love me", because they may become self-fulfilling prophecies.

5. Assumption

Example: "Nothing can change the way I feel".

Making an assumption, presupposes knowledge that you do not have. Assumptions are often popular beliefs that have been adopted without examining their basis in fact, such as "I'm over the hill now that I'm forty". Making decisions based on assumptions may lead to disaster, as when an executive assumes that a new product will sell well, having made no market research. Often, taking things for granted causes people to be blind to possible solutions - assuming no-one can help them, a couple's marriage may go on the rocks, when they could seek counseling. Question: What leads you to believe this? Why do it this way? Who says? What alternatives are there? What would happen if you did? What would happen if you didn't?

As a practical matter, all of us must proceed with the business of living by relying on "maps" of the world that we have taken on trust and that we have not tested and often cannot test. To supplement personal experience, we absorb a constant stream of reports, descriptions, judgments, inferences and assumptions coming from a multitude of sources. From this abundance of stored information, you piece together a mental "model" of the world and its workings that literally becomes your world view. However, people do vary considerably in the extent of their misinformation and in the degree to which they actively seek out new information, take opportunities to correct or update their mental models, and expose themselves to new experiences.

6. Projection

Example: "I know he doesn't like me".

Making false assumptions about what other people think depends on a process called projection. It is like mind-reading - putting words into peoples' mouths. You imagine that people feel the same way you do and react to things the same way. If you get angry when someone is late, you assume that another will feel the same way about you or others, in that situation. If you don't like yourself, you assume others also think that way. The answer is not to jump to conclusions about what other people think and feel.

7. Negative thinking

Example: "We haven't seen each other for two days - I think the relationship is falling apart".

You read a newspaper article about some misfortune and wonder if that could happen to you. Predicting negative consequences is a defense, to protect oneself from disappointment by expecting the worst. Consider, what are the realistic odds of that happening?

8. Self-consciousness

Example: "Quite a few people here seem smarter than I am".

This is the introverted tendency to relate everything around you to yourself, to think people must be judging you, or to think that everything they do or say is a reaction to something about you. It is the habit of continually comparing yourself to other people, based on the underlying assumption is that your worth is questionable. You are therefore continually forced to test your value as a person by measuring yourself against others. If you come out better you have a moment's relief; if you come up short, you feel diminished. Your worth doesn't depend on being better than others, so why start the comparison gamble?

9. Blame

Example: "It's your fault we're in debt".

If you see yourself as externally controlled, you see yourself as helpless, a victim of fate or "the system". You don't believe you can really affect the basic shape of your life, let alone make any difference in the world, so you try and manipulate others to take care of your interests. Someone else is to blame and is responsible for your pain, your loss, your failure. The truth is that we are constantly making decisions and every decision affects and steers our lives. It is your responsibility to assert your needs, to say no or go elsewhere for what you want. In some way we are responsible for nearly everything that happens to us, including our distress and unhappiness. Taking responsibility means accepting the consequences of your own choices. Ask yourself: What choices have I made that resulted in this situation? What decisions can I now make to change it?

The opposite distortion is also very common - the fallacy that makes you responsible for the pain or happiness of everyone around you. You carry the world on your shoulders. You have to right all wrongs, fill every need and balm each hurt; if you don't you feel guilty and turn the blame on yourself. Blaming yourself means labeling yourself inadequate if things go wrong. With this viewpoint you are very easily manipulated. The key to overcoming this fallacy is to recognize that each person is responsible for himself - taking responsibility doesn't imply that you are also responsible for what happens to others. Remember, part of respecting others includes respecting their ability to overcome or accept their own pains, make their own decisions and be in control of their own lives.

10. Unfairness

Example: "It's not fair, he should take me out more often".

The consideration of unfairness results from resentment that the other person does not want or prefer the same as you, or that events do not turn out in your favour. The person gets locked into his or her own point of view, with a feeling of ever-growing resentment. Be honest with yourself and the other person. Say what you want or prefer, without getting involved in the fallacy of unfairness: that people and situations shouldn't be the way they are.

11. Emotional reasoning

Example: "I feel depressed, life must be pointless".

You believe that what you feel must be true - automatically. If you feel stupid then you must lack intelligence. If you feel guilty then you must have done something wrong. If you feel angry, someone must have taken advantage of you. However, there is nothing automatically true about what you feel - your feelings can lie to you, they can be based on misconceptions. If your feelings are based on distorted thoughts, then they won't have any validity. So be sceptical about your feelings and examine them as you would a used car.

12. Manipulation

Example: "If we had sex more often, I'd be more affectionate".

The only person you can really control or have much hope of changing is yourself. When you pressure people to change, you are forcing them to be different for your own benefit. Strategies for manipulating others include blaming, demanding, withholding and trading - in order to make the other feel obliged. The usual result is that the other person feels attacked or pushed around and resists changing at all, or feels resentful if they do. The underlying fallacy of this thinking style is that your happiness depends on controlling the behavior of others. In fact your happiness depends on the many thousands of large and small decisions you make during your life.

13. Shoulds

Example: "You should never ask people personal questions".

In this distortion, you operate from a list of inflexible rules about how you and other people should act. The rules are right and indisputable. Any particular deviation from your particular values or standards is bad. As a result you are often in the position of judging and finding fault. People irritate you, they don't act properly or think correctly. They have unacceptable traits, habits and opinions that make them hard to tolerate. They should know the rules and they should follow them. Of course, the answer is to focus on each person's uniqueness: his or her particular needs, limitations, fears and pleasures, and consequently different values. Personal values are just that - personal.

You are also making yourself suffer with shoulds, oughts and musts (or their negatives). You feel compelled to do something or be a certain way and feel guilty if you don't, but you never bother to ask objectively if it really makes sense. Some people beat themselves up constantly for being incompetent, insensitive, stupid, too emotional, etc. They are always ready to be wrong. The psychiatrist Karen Horney called this the "tyranny of the shoulds".

14. Got to be right

Example: "I've been doing this longer than you, so I know what I'm talking about".

In this very common distortion you are usually on the defensive, needing to prove to yourself and others that your views, assumptions and actions are all correct. You never make mistakes! If you've got to be right, you don't listen. You can't afford to - listening might reveal that you are wrong sometimes. Your opinions rarely change because if the facts don't fit what you already believe you ignore them. This makes you lonely, because being right seems more important than an honest, caring relationship.

The key to overcoming being right, is active listening - making sure you really understand what's been said to you, to appreciate the other's point of view and what you can learn from it, which is effort better spent than in devising rebuttals and attacks. Remember that other people believe what they are saying as strongly as you do, and there is not always just the one right answer.

15. Heaven's reward

Example: "I worked and raised these kids and look what thanks I get".

This distorted thinking style accepts pain and unhappiness because "those who do good are rewarded in the end". You expect all your sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if there was someone keeping score. You feel hostile and bitter when the reward doesn't come. In reality the reward is now. Your relationship, your progress toward your goals, and the care you give to those you love, should be intrinsically rewarding. If not, you need to rearrange your activities to provide some here-and-now reward, dropping or sharing the activities that chronically drain you - Heaven is a long way off and you can get very tired waiting.

http://myfreemalaysia.blogspot.in/2009_12_06_archive.html

15 styles of Distorted Thinking

Filtering: You take the negative details and magnify them while filtering out all positive aspects of a situation.

Polarized Thinking: Things are black or white, good or bad. You have to be perfect or you're a failure. There is no middle ground.

Overgeneralization: You come to a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence. If something bad happens once you expect it to happen over and over again.

Mind Reading:  Without their saying so, you know what people are feeling and why they act the way they do. In particular, you are able to divine how people are feeling toward you.

Castastrophizing: You expect disaster. you notice or hear about a problem and start "what if's". What if tragedy strikes? What if it happens to you?"

Personalization: Thinking that everything people do or say is some kind of reaction to you. You also compare yourself to others, trying to determine who's smarter, better looking, etc.

Control Fallacies: If you feel externally controlled, you see yourself as helpless, a victim of fate. The fallacy of internal control has you responsible for the pain and happiness of everyone around you.

Fallacy of Fairness: You feel resentful because you think you know what's fair but other people won't agree with you.

Blaming: You hold other people responsible for your pain, or take the other tack and blame yourself for every problem or reversal.

Should: You have a list of ironclad rules about how you and other people should act. People who break the rules anger you and you feel guilty if you violate the rules.

Emotional Reasoning: You believe that what you feel must be true-automatically. If you feel stupid and boring, then you must be stupid and boring.

Fallacy of Change: You expect that other people will change to suit you if you just pressure or cajole them enough. You need to change people because your hope for happiness seem to depend entirely on them.

Global Labeling: You generalize one or two qualities into a negative global judgment.

Being Right: You are continually on trial to prove that your opinions and actions are correct. Being wrong is unthinkable and you will go to any length to demonstrate your rightness.

Heaven's Reward Fallacy: You expect all your sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if there were someone keeping score. You feel better when the reward doesn't come

http://www.surrenderworks.com/library/imports/distortedthinking.html
http://access.ewu.edu/caps/selfhelp/stressmanage/distortthink

The Shift - A moment in which you feel different

“Quantum Moment” or “Peak Experience” This phenomenon has been described as “a moment in which you feel different, moved emotionally… responding to what would otherwise be an ordinary situation, but you respond instead in an extraordinary way… increasing your ability to perceive and process information vital to you and your purpose in being here.” – (W. R. Miller & J. C’DeBaca, Anatomy of a Quantum Change. Spirituality & Health, February, 2005) 

Reports from many say a shift occurs within them preceding a quantum moment or peak experience. A quantum moment or peak experience as explained by Abraham Maslow has 4 characteristics.

1. It’s very vivid
2. It’s a surprise
3. It’s benevolent (They always feel good)
4. It’s enduring (It doesn’t come and go….it lasts with you forever)

Most people who speak about profound shifts and breakthroughs, the moment when their lives changed came not out of “doing”, but actually surrendering and allowing. It is an intangible moment of being open and flexible to the Spirit. Some people call it “letting go and letting God”.

Surrendering to the Spirit opens us up to a shift into the true nature of ourselves and this shift occurs differently for men and women. There was a recent study called “The Moment That Turns Your Values Upside Down”.

A group of men and women were studied and surveyed about their life values, both before and after experiencing a Peak Experience or Quantum Moment. The entire group was followed over a lifetime and the findings show collectively:

The Top 5 Values for Women Before:

1. Family  (Taking care of everyone else)
2. Sense of Independence
3. Career
4. Fitting In
5. Attractiveness

It’s not surprising that the findings show that women suffer from an internal conflict between self-identity and societal roles for women. However, the findings change quite dramatically as women experience Quantum Moments or Peak Experiences:

The Top 5 Values for Women After:

1. Personal Growth
2. Self-Esteem
3. Spirituality
4. Happiness
5. Forgiveness

One could conclude that the women shifted into an innate knowing of their value and worthiness as being something that is internal and eternal, rather than external and fleeting. 

The Top 5 Values for Men Before: 

1. Wealth
2. Sense of Adventure
3. Achievement
4. Idea of Pleasure
5. To be Respected

Of course men are brought up to be the provider, to be the man so it’s not surprising to see their top 5 values list. However, take a look at the difference a shift makes:

The Top 5 Values for Men After:

1. Spirituality
2. Personal Peace
3. Family
4. God’s Will (Sense of Purpose)
5. Honesty

As we move from ambition to meaning that does not mean that we lose ambition. Quite the contrary, we now have ambition with meaning, ambition is transformed into purpose.  We also start to detach from the outcome, which allows us to remove resistance. We then realize that rather than making things happen, we are allowing them to come naturally.

Dr. Wayne Dyer says if we want to see the doors open in our lives, we detach from what the ego says and allow ourselves to live from the Spirit. Lao Tzu spoke about 4 Virtues that he encourages us to live by:

The 4 Virtues:

1. Reverence for all life (Respect)
2. Sincerity (Honesty)
3. Gentleness (Kindness)
4. Supportiveness (Service to others)

When we shift from ambition to meaning, we also come to realize that this is not a race, we don’t have to run. In fact, we might even slow it down and take a look around rather than chasing everyone.

http://codulvietii.wordpress.com/2012/04/18/life-a-moment-in-which-you-feel-different/#more-266

The Rules for Being Human

Handed down from Ancient Sanskrit

1. YOU WILL RECEIVE A BODY. 

You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period. 

2. YOU WILL LEARN LESSONS. 

You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life." 

3. THERE ARE NO MISTAKES, ONLY LESSONS. 

Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work." 

4. LESSONS ARE REPEATED UNTIL THEY ARE LEARNED. 

A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson. 

5. LEARNING LESSONS DOES NOT END.

There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned. 

6. "THERE" IS NO BETTER A PLACE THAN "HERE." 

When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here." 

7. OTHER PEOPLE ARE MERELY MIRRORS OF YOU. 

You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself. 

8. WHAT YOU MAKE OF YOUR LIFE IS UP TO YOU.

You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours. 

9. YOUR ANSWERS LIE WITHIN YOU. 

The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust. 

10. YOU WILL FORGET ALL THIS.

http://www.lifelovedying.org/inspiration_2698919.html

Injustice in the world

Q: How to deal with so much injustice in the world?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: If you only think about all the injustice, you will keep boiling. When you keep boiling, you cannot think clearly. When you cannot think clearly, your action will also not be right. And at another level, your action will also contribute to the injustice.

When you see injustice, there are three things to do:
• Take it piece by piece, bit by bit
• Know that there are good people in the world in every field. This world has a hundred good people, and only five bad people. If the world is bad today, it is not because of the five bad elements, it is because of the hundred good people who are sleeping. So wake them up
• Know that there is a universal power that loves you. This power or law will always take care; have that faith.You are not going to protect this planet forever. You are here only for 80-100 years. You have no control over what will happen after 200 years. Nor did you have any control over the 19 billion years that the planet has existed. Know that you don’t have control. All that you can do is pray and wish that the best happens.

Do you know our scientists say that the whole solar system is moving in between many black holes? It is just escaping the black holes. At any time the black hole can just suck the solar system, and everything will be finished.
Not just the Earth, the Sun, Moon, Jupiter, everything will be gone, it will disappear into nothing. So when you get so worried, or get so angry about injustice, go to a planetarium and watch! That is the last option!
Before that, wake up people. Create awareness in people, create activism.

http://qnawithsrisri.artoflivinguniverse.org/2014/07/qna-with-sri-sri.html

25 Life Changing Lessons from Buddha

1. LOVE HEALS ALL THINGS.

“Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.”

2. IT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAY BUT WHAT YOU DO THAT DEFINES YOU.

“A man is not called wise because he talks and talks again; but if he is peaceful, loving and fearless then he is in truth called wise.”

“A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.”

3. THE SECRET OF GOOD HEALTH IS TO LIVE FULLY IN THE NOW.

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.”

4. WHO LOOKS INSIDE AWAKENS.

“The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.”

5. WORDS HAVE THE POWER TO BOTH HURT AND HEAL.

“Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.”

6. LET IT GO AND IT WILL BE YOURS FOREVER.

“You only lose what you cling to.”

7. NO ONE CAN WALK YOUR PATH FOR YOU.

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”

8. HAPPINESS NEVER DECREASES BY BEING SHARED.

“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

9. BE KIND TO ALL.

“Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant with the weak and wrong. Sometime in your life, you will have been all of these.”

“Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little.”

“Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity.”

10. DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU ARE TOLD TO BELIEVE.

“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”

11. AS YOU THINK SO SHALL YOU BE

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts and made up of our thoughts. If a man speak or act with an evil thought, suffering follows him as the wheel follows the hoof of the beast that draws the wagon…. If a man speak or act with a good thought, happiness follows him like a shadow that never leaves him.”

12. LET GO OF FEAR.

“The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.”

Read: Buddha: A Story of Enlightenment

13. THE TRUTH HAS A WAY OF ALWAYS LEAKING OUT.

“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”

14. CONTROL YOUR MIND OR IT WILL CONTROL YOU.

“To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.”

“It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways.”

15. DOUBT SEPARATES. TRUST UNITES.

“There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.”

16. NOBODY IS MORE DESERVING OF YOUR LOVE THAN YOU YOURSELF ARE.

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

17. KNOWING OTHERS IS WISDOM, KNOWING YOURSELF IS ENLIGHTENMENT.

“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.”

18. SPIRITUALITY ISN’T A LUXURY, IT’S A NECESSITY.

“Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life.”

19. REPLACE JEALOUSY WITH ADMIRATION.

“Do not be jealous of others’ good qualities, but out of admiration adopt them yourself.”

20. LOOK FOR PEACE WITHIN YOURSELF.

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.”

21. LET GO OF ATTACHMENT.

“To live a pure unselfish life, one must count nothing as one’s own in the midst of abundance.”

22. CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY.

“An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.”

23. THERE IS NO WAY TO HAPPINESS. HAPPINESS IS THE WAY.

“There is no path to happiness: happiness is the path.”

24. GIVE UP LABELS.

“In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true.”

25. LOVE. LIVE. LET GO.

“In the end these things matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go?”

http://themindunleashed.org/2014/06/25-life-changing-lessons-learn-buddha.html

Byron Katie's Four Questions

All the suffering that goes on inside our minds is not reality, says Byron Katie. It's just a story we torture ourselves with. She has a simple, completely replicable system for freeing ourselves of the thoughts that make us suffer. "All war begins on paper," she explains. You write down your stressful thoughts, and then ask yourself the following four questions:

Question 1: Is it true?
This question can change your life. Be still and ask yourself if the thought you wrote down is true.

Question 2: Can you absolutely know it's true?
This is another opportunity to open your mind and to go deeper into the unknown, to find the answers that live beneath what we think we know.

Question 3: How do you react—what happens—when you believe that thought?
With this question, you begin to notice internal cause and effect. You can see that when you believe the thought, there is a disturbance that can range from mild discomfort to fear or panic. What do you feel? How do you treat the person (or the situation) you've written about, how do you treat yourself, when you believe that thought? Make a list, and be specific.

Question 4: Who would you be without the thought?
Imagine yourself in the presence of that person (or in that situation), without believing the thought. How would your life be different if you didn't have the ability to even think the stressful thought? How would you feel? Which do you prefer—life with or without the thought? Which feels kinder, more peaceful?

Turn the thought around:
The "turnaround" gives you an opportunity to experience the opposite of what you believe. Once you have found one or more turnarounds to your original statement, you are invited to find at least three specific, genuine examples of how each turnaround is true in your life.

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Byron-Katies-Four-Questions