Book:The Road Less Travelled

A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth 

Confronting and solving problems is a painful process which most of us attempt to avoid. And the very avoidance results in greater pain and an inability to grow both mentally and spiritually. Drawing heavily on his own professional experience, Dr M. Scott Peck, a practising psychiatrist, suggests ways in which facing our difficulties - and suffering through the changes - can enable us to reach a higher level of self-understanding. He discusses the nature of loving relation-ships: how to recognize true compatibility; how to distinguish dependency from love; how to become one's own person and how to be a more sensitive parent.

Quotes:

One hour of pain followed by six of pleasure was preferable to one hour of pleasure followed by six of pain. 

If a child sees his parents day in and day out behaving with self-discipline, restraint, dignity and a capacity to order their own lives, then the child will come to feel in the deepest fibers of his being that this is the way to live.

Parents will take the time to make these minor corrections and adjustments, listening to their children, responding to them, tightening a little here, loosening a little there, giving them little lectures, little stories, little hugs and kisses, little admonishments, little pats on the back.

The feeling of being valuable-"I am a valuable person"-is essential to mental health and is a cornerstone of self-discipline

Take the time necessary to analyze family problems so as to develop well-thought-out and effective solutions.

In attempting to avoid the pain of responsibility, millions and even billions daily attempt to escape from freedom.

If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know where we are, and if we have decided where we want to go, we will generally know how to get there.

We can revise our maps only when we have the discipline to overcome that pain, To have such discipline, we must be totally dedicated to truth.

Yet when one is dedicated to the truth this pain seems relatively unimportant-and less and less important (and therefore less and less painful) the farther one proceeds on the path of self-examination.

Genuine psychotherapy is a legitimate shortcut to personal growth which is often ignored. 

Balancing is the discipline that gives us flexibility. Extraordinary flexibility is required for successful living in all spheres of activity. 

The loss of balance is ultimately more painful than the giving up required to maintain balance.

I define love thus: The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth.

A true acceptance of their own and each other's individuality and separateness is the only foundation upon which a mature marriage can be based and real love can grow.

The temporary release from ego boundaries associated with falling in love, sexual intercourse or the use of certain psychoactive drugs may provide us with a glimpse of Nirvana, but not with Nirvana itself. It is a thesis of this book that Nirvana or lasting enlightenment or true spiritual growth can be achieved only through the persistent exercise of real love.

A good marriage can exist only between two strong and independent people.

Allowing yourself to be dependent on another person is the worst possible thing you can do to yourself.

Hobbies are self-nurturing activities. But if a hobby becomes an end in itself, then it becomes a substitute for rather than a means to self-development. 

Love is not simply giving; it is judicious giving and judicious withholding as well. It is judicious praising and judicious criticizing. It is judicious arguing, struggling, con-fronting, urging, pushing and pulling in addition to comforting.

True love is not a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. It is a committed, thoughtful decision.

The more children know that you value them, that you consider them extraordinary people, the more willing they will be to listen to you and afford you the same esteem. 

Romantic "love" is effortless, and couples are frequently reluctant to shoulder the effort and discipline of true love and listening. 

Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the making of action in spite of fear, the moving out against the resistance engendered by fear into the unknown and into the future. On some level spiritual growth, and therefore love, always requires courage and involves risk. It is the risking of love that we will now consider.

I've made a commitment to you. I will work with you as long as is necessary, whether it takes one year or five years or ten years or whatever. I don't know whether you will quit our work together when you're ready or before you're ready. But whichever it is, you are the one who will terminate our relationship. Short of my death, my services will be available to you as long as you want them.

With this consciousness the loving person assumes the responsibility of attempting to be God and not to carelessly play God, to fulfill God's will without mistake.

Constant self-discipline! Constant self-examination! Duty! Responsibility! Neopuritanism, they might call it. Call it what you will, genuine love, with all the discipline that it requires, is the only path in this life to substantial joy. 

Genuine love not only respects the individuality of the other but actually seeks to cultivate it, even at the risk of separation or loss.

It is essential for the therapist to love a patient for the therapy to be successful.

Laymen can practice successful psychotherapy without great training as long as they are genuinely loving human beings.

The absence of love is the major cause of mental illness and that the presence of love is consequently the essential healing element in psychotherapy. 

Spiritual growth is a journey out of the microcosm into an ever greater macrocosm. It is a journey of knowledge and not of faith. 

We are all individuals, but we are also parts of a greater whole, united in something vast and beautiful beyond description.

At these times the conscious mind of the patient is engaged in trying to combat therapy, intent upon hiding the true nature of the self from the therapist and from self-awareness. It is the unconscious, however, that is allied with the therapist, struggling toward openness, honesty, truth, and reality, fighting to "tell it like it is."

God is the goal of evolution. It is God who is the source of the evolutionary force and God who is the destination. That is what we mean when we say that He is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end.

The development of consciousness is the development of awareness in our conscious mind of knowledge along with our unconscious mind, which already possesses that knowledge. It is a process of the conscious mind coming into synchrony with the unconscious.

The ultimate goal of spiritual growth is for the individual to become as one with God. 

insofar as we might then through our conscious decisions be able to influence the world according to His will our Iives themselves will become the agents of God's grace. We ourselves will then have become one form of the grace of God, working on His behalf among mankind, creating love where love did not exist before, pulling our fellow creatures up to our own level of awareness, pushing the plane of human evolution forward.

"Let thy will, not mine, be done. Make me your instrument," is their only desire. Such a loss of self brings with it always a kind of calm ecstasy.

Loneliness is the unavailability of people to communicate with on any level. Aloneness, however, is the unavailability of someone to communicate with at your level of awareness.

Mental illness occurs when the conscious will of the individual substantially deviates from the will of God, which is his or her own unconscious will. 

Those who have faced their mental illness, accepted total responsibility for it, and made the necessary changes in them-selves to overcome it, find themselves not only cured and free from the curses of their childhood and ancestry but also find themselves living in a new and different world. 

individuals with psychoses are thought to have experienced extremely poor parenting in the first nine months of life; their resulting illness can be ameliorated by this or that form of treatment, but it is almost impossible to cure. Individuals with character disorders are thought to have experienced adequate care as infants but very poor care during the period between roughly nine months and two years of age, with the result that they are less sick than psychotics but still quite sick indeed and very difficult to cure. Individuals with neuroses are thought to have received adequate parenting in their very early childhood but then to have suffered from poor parenting sometime after the age of two but usually beginning before the age of five or six. Neurotics are therefore thought to be less sick than either character-disordered people or psychotics, and consequently much easier to treat and cure.

It is possible for an individual to be extremely ill and yet at the same time possess an extremely strong "will to grow," in which case healing will occur.

All of us are called by and to grace, but few of us choose to listen to the call.

It is our laziness, the original sin of entropy with which we have all been cursed. Just as grace is the ultimate source of the force that pushes us to ascend the ladder of human evolution, so it is entropy that causes us to resist that force, to stay at the comfortable, easy rung where we now are or even to descend to less and less demanding forms of existence.

Fearfulness and sense of unworthiness is so great as to consistently prevent the assumption of power, it is a neurotic problem.

1 do believe that the awareness of the existence of grace can be of considerable assistance to those who have chosen to travel the difficult path of spiritual growth. 

To utilize dreams effectively we must work to be aware of their value and to take advantage of them when they come to us, and we must also work sometimes at not seeking or expecting them. We must let them be true gifts.

But when we nurture ourselves and others with-out a primary concern of finding reward, then we will have become lovable, and the reward of being loved, which we have not sought, will find us. So it is with human love and so it is with God's love.

Spiritual growth is guided by the invisible hand and unimaginable wisdom of God with infinitely greater accuracy than that of which our unaided conscious will is capable.

The journey of spiritual growth requires courage and initiative and independence of thought and action.

The fact that there exists beyond ourselves and our conscious will a powerful force that nurtures our growth and evolution is enough to turn our notions of self-insignificance topsy-turvy. 

http://www.siestakeybeachmeeting.com/index_htm_files/The%20Road%20Less%20Traveled.pdf

Story:Luck favors those who help themselves

A flood was threatening a small town and everyone was leaving for safety except one man who said, "God will save me. I have faith." As the water level rose a jeep came to rescue him, the man refused, saying "God will save me. I have faith." As the water level rose further, he went up to the second storey, and a boat came to help him. Again he refused to go, Belying, "God will save me. I have faith." The water kept rising and the man climbed on to the roof. A helicopter came to rescue him, but he said, "God will save me. I have faith." Well, finally he drowned. When he reached his Maker he angrily questioned, "I had complete faith in you. Why did you ignore my prayers and let me drown?" The Lord replied, "Who do you think sent you the jeep, the boat, and the helicopter?"

The only way to overcome the fatalistic attitude is to accept responsibility and believe in the law of cause and effect rather than luck. 

It takes action, preparation and planning rather than waiting, wondering or wishing, to accomplish anything in life.

http://debaonline4u.blogspot.in/2013/05/luck-favors-those-who-help-themselves.html
http://sharadpokhrel.com.np/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/You-Can-Win-by-Shiv-Khera.pdf

Discover & Change 15 types of Distorted Thinking

THOUGHT DISTORTIONS

1. Tunnel vision

Example: "I expect it'll be another boring party".

It is being stuck in a mental groove. In particular you look for that which confirms your fear or prejudice, remember it from the past and expect it in the future. You ignore other points of view or the possibility of alternative solutions.

2. Awfulising

Example: "I can't bear going on these awful buses".

This attitude is saying that it's unacceptable if things aren't as you would prefer them to be. You take the negative aspect of a situation and magnify it. To handle this, recognize when you use words like terrible, awful, disgusting, etc. and in particular the phrase "I can't stand it". Examine their rationality.

3. Black & White Thinking

Example: "You're either for me or against me".

Things are black or white, wonderful or terrible, a great success or a total failure, brilliantly clever or really stupid, a certainty or a complete mystery, friend or enemy, love or hate - there is no middle ground, no room for improvement, no room for mistakes. judgments on self and others swing from one emotional extreme to another and are easily triggered. It is important to remember that human beings are just too complex to be reduced to dichotomous judgments, and that all qualities fall somewhere along a continuum, containing elements of either extreme.

4. Generalization

Example: "I'll never be any good at tennis" after one poor game.

In this distortion you make a broad, generalized conclusion, often couched in the form of absolute statements, based on a single piece of evidence. If something bad happens once, you expect it to happen over and over again. If someone shows evidence of a negative trait, this is picked up on and exaggerated into a global judgment. This inevitably leads to a more and more restricted life and your view of the world becomes stereotyped. Cue words that indicate you may be over-generalizing are: all, every, none, never, always, everybody and nobody. To become more flexible use words such as: may, sometimes and often, and be particularly sensitive to absolute statements about the future, such as "No one will ever love me", because they may become self-fulfilling prophecies.

5. Assumption

Example: "Nothing can change the way I feel".

Making an assumption, presupposes knowledge that you do not have. Assumptions are often popular beliefs that have been adopted without examining their basis in fact, such as "I'm over the hill now that I'm forty". Making decisions based on assumptions may lead to disaster, as when an executive assumes that a new product will sell well, having made no market research. Often, taking things for granted causes people to be blind to possible solutions - assuming no-one can help them, a couple's marriage may go on the rocks, when they could seek counseling. Question: What leads you to believe this? Why do it this way? Who says? What alternatives are there? What would happen if you did? What would happen if you didn't?

As a practical matter, all of us must proceed with the business of living by relying on "maps" of the world that we have taken on trust and that we have not tested and often cannot test. To supplement personal experience, we absorb a constant stream of reports, descriptions, judgments, inferences and assumptions coming from a multitude of sources. From this abundance of stored information, you piece together a mental "model" of the world and its workings that literally becomes your world view. However, people do vary considerably in the extent of their misinformation and in the degree to which they actively seek out new information, take opportunities to correct or update their mental models, and expose themselves to new experiences.

6. Projection

Example: "I know he doesn't like me".

Making false assumptions about what other people think depends on a process called projection. It is like mind-reading - putting words into peoples' mouths. You imagine that people feel the same way you do and react to things the same way. If you get angry when someone is late, you assume that another will feel the same way about you or others, in that situation. If you don't like yourself, you assume others also think that way. The answer is not to jump to conclusions about what other people think and feel.

7. Negative thinking

Example: "We haven't seen each other for two days - I think the relationship is falling apart".

You read a newspaper article about some misfortune and wonder if that could happen to you. Predicting negative consequences is a defense, to protect oneself from disappointment by expecting the worst. Consider, what are the realistic odds of that happening?

8. Self-consciousness

Example: "Quite a few people here seem smarter than I am".

This is the introverted tendency to relate everything around you to yourself, to think people must be judging you, or to think that everything they do or say is a reaction to something about you. It is the habit of continually comparing yourself to other people, based on the underlying assumption is that your worth is questionable. You are therefore continually forced to test your value as a person by measuring yourself against others. If you come out better you have a moment's relief; if you come up short, you feel diminished. Your worth doesn't depend on being better than others, so why start the comparison gamble?

9. Blame

Example: "It's your fault we're in debt".

If you see yourself as externally controlled, you see yourself as helpless, a victim of fate or "the system". You don't believe you can really affect the basic shape of your life, let alone make any difference in the world, so you try and manipulate others to take care of your interests. Someone else is to blame and is responsible for your pain, your loss, your failure. The truth is that we are constantly making decisions and every decision affects and steers our lives. It is your responsibility to assert your needs, to say no or go elsewhere for what you want. In some way we are responsible for nearly everything that happens to us, including our distress and unhappiness. Taking responsibility means accepting the consequences of your own choices. Ask yourself: What choices have I made that resulted in this situation? What decisions can I now make to change it?

The opposite distortion is also very common - the fallacy that makes you responsible for the pain or happiness of everyone around you. You carry the world on your shoulders. You have to right all wrongs, fill every need and balm each hurt; if you don't you feel guilty and turn the blame on yourself. Blaming yourself means labeling yourself inadequate if things go wrong. With this viewpoint you are very easily manipulated. The key to overcoming this fallacy is to recognize that each person is responsible for himself - taking responsibility doesn't imply that you are also responsible for what happens to others. Remember, part of respecting others includes respecting their ability to overcome or accept their own pains, make their own decisions and be in control of their own lives.

10. Unfairness

Example: "It's not fair, he should take me out more often".

The consideration of unfairness results from resentment that the other person does not want or prefer the same as you, or that events do not turn out in your favour. The person gets locked into his or her own point of view, with a feeling of ever-growing resentment. Be honest with yourself and the other person. Say what you want or prefer, without getting involved in the fallacy of unfairness: that people and situations shouldn't be the way they are.

11. Emotional reasoning

Example: "I feel depressed, life must be pointless".

You believe that what you feel must be true - automatically. If you feel stupid then you must lack intelligence. If you feel guilty then you must have done something wrong. If you feel angry, someone must have taken advantage of you. However, there is nothing automatically true about what you feel - your feelings can lie to you, they can be based on misconceptions. If your feelings are based on distorted thoughts, then they won't have any validity. So be sceptical about your feelings and examine them as you would a used car.

12. Manipulation

Example: "If we had sex more often, I'd be more affectionate".

The only person you can really control or have much hope of changing is yourself. When you pressure people to change, you are forcing them to be different for your own benefit. Strategies for manipulating others include blaming, demanding, withholding and trading - in order to make the other feel obliged. The usual result is that the other person feels attacked or pushed around and resists changing at all, or feels resentful if they do. The underlying fallacy of this thinking style is that your happiness depends on controlling the behavior of others. In fact your happiness depends on the many thousands of large and small decisions you make during your life.

13. Shoulds

Example: "You should never ask people personal questions".

In this distortion, you operate from a list of inflexible rules about how you and other people should act. The rules are right and indisputable. Any particular deviation from your particular values or standards is bad. As a result you are often in the position of judging and finding fault. People irritate you, they don't act properly or think correctly. They have unacceptable traits, habits and opinions that make them hard to tolerate. They should know the rules and they should follow them. Of course, the answer is to focus on each person's uniqueness: his or her particular needs, limitations, fears and pleasures, and consequently different values. Personal values are just that - personal.

You are also making yourself suffer with shoulds, oughts and musts (or their negatives). You feel compelled to do something or be a certain way and feel guilty if you don't, but you never bother to ask objectively if it really makes sense. Some people beat themselves up constantly for being incompetent, insensitive, stupid, too emotional, etc. They are always ready to be wrong. The psychiatrist Karen Horney called this the "tyranny of the shoulds".

14. Got to be right

Example: "I've been doing this longer than you, so I know what I'm talking about".

In this very common distortion you are usually on the defensive, needing to prove to yourself and others that your views, assumptions and actions are all correct. You never make mistakes! If you've got to be right, you don't listen. You can't afford to - listening might reveal that you are wrong sometimes. Your opinions rarely change because if the facts don't fit what you already believe you ignore them. This makes you lonely, because being right seems more important than an honest, caring relationship.

The key to overcoming being right, is active listening - making sure you really understand what's been said to you, to appreciate the other's point of view and what you can learn from it, which is effort better spent than in devising rebuttals and attacks. Remember that other people believe what they are saying as strongly as you do, and there is not always just the one right answer.

15. Heaven's reward

Example: "I worked and raised these kids and look what thanks I get".

This distorted thinking style accepts pain and unhappiness because "those who do good are rewarded in the end". You expect all your sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if there was someone keeping score. You feel hostile and bitter when the reward doesn't come. In reality the reward is now. Your relationship, your progress toward your goals, and the care you give to those you love, should be intrinsically rewarding. If not, you need to rearrange your activities to provide some here-and-now reward, dropping or sharing the activities that chronically drain you - Heaven is a long way off and you can get very tired waiting.

http://myfreemalaysia.blogspot.in/2009_12_06_archive.html

The Shift - A moment in which you feel different

“Quantum Moment” or “Peak Experience” This phenomenon has been described as “a moment in which you feel different, moved emotionally… responding to what would otherwise be an ordinary situation, but you respond instead in an extraordinary way… increasing your ability to perceive and process information vital to you and your purpose in being here.” – (W. R. Miller & J. C’DeBaca, Anatomy of a Quantum Change. Spirituality & Health, February, 2005) 

Reports from many say a shift occurs within them preceding a quantum moment or peak experience. A quantum moment or peak experience as explained by Abraham Maslow has 4 characteristics.

1. It’s very vivid
2. It’s a surprise
3. It’s benevolent (They always feel good)
4. It’s enduring (It doesn’t come and go….it lasts with you forever)

Most people who speak about profound shifts and breakthroughs, the moment when their lives changed came not out of “doing”, but actually surrendering and allowing. It is an intangible moment of being open and flexible to the Spirit. Some people call it “letting go and letting God”.

Surrendering to the Spirit opens us up to a shift into the true nature of ourselves and this shift occurs differently for men and women. There was a recent study called “The Moment That Turns Your Values Upside Down”.

A group of men and women were studied and surveyed about their life values, both before and after experiencing a Peak Experience or Quantum Moment. The entire group was followed over a lifetime and the findings show collectively:

The Top 5 Values for Women Before:

1. Family  (Taking care of everyone else)
2. Sense of Independence
3. Career
4. Fitting In
5. Attractiveness

It’s not surprising that the findings show that women suffer from an internal conflict between self-identity and societal roles for women. However, the findings change quite dramatically as women experience Quantum Moments or Peak Experiences:

The Top 5 Values for Women After:

1. Personal Growth
2. Self-Esteem
3. Spirituality
4. Happiness
5. Forgiveness

One could conclude that the women shifted into an innate knowing of their value and worthiness as being something that is internal and eternal, rather than external and fleeting. 

The Top 5 Values for Men Before: 

1. Wealth
2. Sense of Adventure
3. Achievement
4. Idea of Pleasure
5. To be Respected

Of course men are brought up to be the provider, to be the man so it’s not surprising to see their top 5 values list. However, take a look at the difference a shift makes:

The Top 5 Values for Men After:

1. Spirituality
2. Personal Peace
3. Family
4. God’s Will (Sense of Purpose)
5. Honesty

As we move from ambition to meaning that does not mean that we lose ambition. Quite the contrary, we now have ambition with meaning, ambition is transformed into purpose.  We also start to detach from the outcome, which allows us to remove resistance. We then realize that rather than making things happen, we are allowing them to come naturally.

Dr. Wayne Dyer says if we want to see the doors open in our lives, we detach from what the ego says and allow ourselves to live from the Spirit. Lao Tzu spoke about 4 Virtues that he encourages us to live by:

The 4 Virtues:

1. Reverence for all life (Respect)
2. Sincerity (Honesty)
3. Gentleness (Kindness)
4. Supportiveness (Service to others)

When we shift from ambition to meaning, we also come to realize that this is not a race, we don’t have to run. In fact, we might even slow it down and take a look around rather than chasing everyone.

http://codulvietii.wordpress.com/2012/04/18/life-a-moment-in-which-you-feel-different/#more-266

The Rules for Being Human

Handed down from Ancient Sanskrit

1. YOU WILL RECEIVE A BODY. 

You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period. 

2. YOU WILL LEARN LESSONS. 

You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life." 

3. THERE ARE NO MISTAKES, ONLY LESSONS. 

Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work." 

4. LESSONS ARE REPEATED UNTIL THEY ARE LEARNED. 

A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson. 

5. LEARNING LESSONS DOES NOT END.

There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned. 

6. "THERE" IS NO BETTER A PLACE THAN "HERE." 

When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here." 

7. OTHER PEOPLE ARE MERELY MIRRORS OF YOU. 

You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself. 

8. WHAT YOU MAKE OF YOUR LIFE IS UP TO YOU.

You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours. 

9. YOUR ANSWERS LIE WITHIN YOU. 

The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust. 

10. YOU WILL FORGET ALL THIS.

http://www.lifelovedying.org/inspiration_2698919.html

25 Life Changing Lessons from Buddha

1. LOVE HEALS ALL THINGS.

“Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.”

2. IT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAY BUT WHAT YOU DO THAT DEFINES YOU.

“A man is not called wise because he talks and talks again; but if he is peaceful, loving and fearless then he is in truth called wise.”

“A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.”

3. THE SECRET OF GOOD HEALTH IS TO LIVE FULLY IN THE NOW.

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.”

4. WHO LOOKS INSIDE AWAKENS.

“The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.”

5. WORDS HAVE THE POWER TO BOTH HURT AND HEAL.

“Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.”

6. LET IT GO AND IT WILL BE YOURS FOREVER.

“You only lose what you cling to.”

7. NO ONE CAN WALK YOUR PATH FOR YOU.

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”

8. HAPPINESS NEVER DECREASES BY BEING SHARED.

“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

9. BE KIND TO ALL.

“Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant with the weak and wrong. Sometime in your life, you will have been all of these.”

“Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little.”

“Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity.”

10. DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU ARE TOLD TO BELIEVE.

“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”

11. AS YOU THINK SO SHALL YOU BE

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts and made up of our thoughts. If a man speak or act with an evil thought, suffering follows him as the wheel follows the hoof of the beast that draws the wagon…. If a man speak or act with a good thought, happiness follows him like a shadow that never leaves him.”

12. LET GO OF FEAR.

“The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.”

Read: Buddha: A Story of Enlightenment

13. THE TRUTH HAS A WAY OF ALWAYS LEAKING OUT.

“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”

14. CONTROL YOUR MIND OR IT WILL CONTROL YOU.

“To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.”

“It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways.”

15. DOUBT SEPARATES. TRUST UNITES.

“There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.”

16. NOBODY IS MORE DESERVING OF YOUR LOVE THAN YOU YOURSELF ARE.

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

17. KNOWING OTHERS IS WISDOM, KNOWING YOURSELF IS ENLIGHTENMENT.

“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.”

18. SPIRITUALITY ISN’T A LUXURY, IT’S A NECESSITY.

“Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life.”

19. REPLACE JEALOUSY WITH ADMIRATION.

“Do not be jealous of others’ good qualities, but out of admiration adopt them yourself.”

20. LOOK FOR PEACE WITHIN YOURSELF.

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.”

21. LET GO OF ATTACHMENT.

“To live a pure unselfish life, one must count nothing as one’s own in the midst of abundance.”

22. CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY.

“An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.”

23. THERE IS NO WAY TO HAPPINESS. HAPPINESS IS THE WAY.

“There is no path to happiness: happiness is the path.”

24. GIVE UP LABELS.

“In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true.”

25. LOVE. LIVE. LET GO.

“In the end these things matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go?”

http://themindunleashed.org/2014/06/25-life-changing-lessons-learn-buddha.html

Byron Katie's Four Questions

All the suffering that goes on inside our minds is not reality, says Byron Katie. It's just a story we torture ourselves with. She has a simple, completely replicable system for freeing ourselves of the thoughts that make us suffer. "All war begins on paper," she explains. You write down your stressful thoughts, and then ask yourself the following four questions:

Question 1: Is it true?
This question can change your life. Be still and ask yourself if the thought you wrote down is true.

Question 2: Can you absolutely know it's true?
This is another opportunity to open your mind and to go deeper into the unknown, to find the answers that live beneath what we think we know.

Question 3: How do you react—what happens—when you believe that thought?
With this question, you begin to notice internal cause and effect. You can see that when you believe the thought, there is a disturbance that can range from mild discomfort to fear or panic. What do you feel? How do you treat the person (or the situation) you've written about, how do you treat yourself, when you believe that thought? Make a list, and be specific.

Question 4: Who would you be without the thought?
Imagine yourself in the presence of that person (or in that situation), without believing the thought. How would your life be different if you didn't have the ability to even think the stressful thought? How would you feel? Which do you prefer—life with or without the thought? Which feels kinder, more peaceful?

Turn the thought around:
The "turnaround" gives you an opportunity to experience the opposite of what you believe. Once you have found one or more turnarounds to your original statement, you are invited to find at least three specific, genuine examples of how each turnaround is true in your life.

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Byron-Katies-Four-Questions

The Twelve Gifts of Birth

Some day, all the children of the world will learn the truth about their noble inheritance. When that happens a miracle will unfold on the kingdom of Earth.

Some day is near.

Here is the secret they want you to know.

At the wondrous moment you were born, as you took your first breath, a great celebration was held in the heavens and twelve magnificent gifts were granted to you.

The first gift is STRENGTH. May you remember to call upon it whenever you need it.

The second gift is BEAUTY. May your deeds reflect its depth.

The third gift is COURAGE. May you speak and act with confidence and use courage to follow your own path.

The fourth gift is COMPASSION. May you be gentle with yourself and others. May you forgive those who hurt you and yourself when you make mistakes.

The fifth gift is HOPE. Through each passage and season, may you trust the goodness of life.

The sixth gift is JOY. May it keep your heart open and filled with light.

The seventh gift is TALENT. May you discover your own special abilities and contribute them toward a better world.

The eighth gift is IMAGINATION. May it nourish your visions and dreams.

The ninth gift is REVERENCE. May you appreciate the wonder that you are and the miracle of all creation.

The tenth gift is WISDOM. Guiding your way, wisdom will lead you through knowledge to understanding. May you hear its soft voice.

The eleventh gift is LOVE. It will grow each time you give it away.

The twelfth gift is FAITH. May you believe.

Now you know about your twelve gifts of birth. Use your gifts well and you will discover  others, among them a gift that is uniquely you. See these noble gifts in other people. Share the truth and be ready for the miracle to unfold.

http://www.inspirationpeak.com/library/twelvegifts.html

Two Days We Should Not Worry

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension. 

One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares,
its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. 

Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday. 

We cannot undo a single act we performed;
we cannot erase a single word we said.
Yesterday is gone forever. 

The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow
with all its possible adversities, its burdens,
its large promise and its poor performance;
Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. 

Tomorrow's sun will rise, 
either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise.
Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow,
for it is yet to be born. 

This leaves only one day, Today.
Any person can fight the battle of just one day.
It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down. 

It is not the experience of Today that drives a person mad,
it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring. 

Let us, therefore, Live but one day at a time.

http://www.inspirationpeak.com/cgi-bin/stories.cgi?record=79

The 7 C's of Happiness

What are the critical ingredients for experiencing genuine happiness? Here are seven elements of life that I believe are essential to the attainment of human happiness. I call them the "7 C's in the pursuit of happiness." One is not more important than any of the others.

1. Compassion
In order to evolve into a state of happiness, you must develop your in-born ability to care about life, to value life in all its forms, to engage in loving, kind actions, to cultivate an attitude of what Nobel laureate, Dr. Albert Schweitzer called "reverence for life," (including your own).

2. Contentment 
Inner calm. Peace of mind and heart does not mean acceptance of everything that happens. It does mean letting go of fear. When you live life fearlessly, you experience a kind of peace that permeates every cell of your body, every thought of your mind, every emotion of your heart, every element of your spirit.

3. Connection
Without effectively connecting to other humans, you become less than human yourself. Connection means involving yourself in relationship to everyone around you, connecting to your own inner life, and becoming aware of the environment in which you live. Learn to create high-quality relationships, and your happiness is almost guaranteed.

4. Communication 
Communication is our primary method for connection. It increases your knowledge, your understanding, and your awareness. Language is precious. Words are the building blocks of all happiness.

5. Commitment
Oprah Winfrey says that what motivates her to get up in the morning is "my commitment to my life and fulfilling my life purpose." If one of your life's purposes is to enhance your happiness, committing your life to the service of others brings more happiness than you can imagine. Happiness requires you commit yourself to something larger than yourself.

6. Consciousness 
Most spiritual teachers believe we are living in a sleep-like or dream state. In order to be happy, one must increase one's awareness of life. And the single awareness that is most conducive to happiness is: the impermanence of everything. Life is in a constant state of flux, of change, of rhythm and of evolution.

7. Creativity 
Creating your life experience by consciously choosing your thoughts, your actions, your decisions and your attitudes will allow you to attain personal happiness regardless of external circumstances.

The pursuit of happiness is not something you search for or attain from outside your skin. Happiness develops from within. You were born to be happy. You were given life to experience happiness. Pursuing it is your right. Sail the 7 C's of happiness and the pursuit of it becomes obvious and being alive becomes the happiest of moments

http://www.dailytenminutes.com/2013/03/the-7-cs-of-happiness.html

The Seven Cs of Success

Clarity: Eighty percent of success comes from being clear on who you are, what you believe in and what you want. 

Competence: You can't climb to the next rung on the ladder until you are excellent at what you do now. 

Constraints: Eighty percent of all obstacles to success come from within. Find out what is constraining in you or your company and deal with it. 

Concentration: The ability to focus on one thing single-mindedly and see it through until it's done takes more character than anything else. 

Creativity: Flood your life with ideas from many sources. Creativity needs to be exercised like a muscle; if you don't use it you'll lose it. 

Courage: Most in demand and least in supply, courage is the willingness to do the things you know are right. 

Continuous learning: Read, at the very least, one book a week on business to keep you miles ahead of the competition. And just as you eat and bathe, organize your time so you spend 30 minutes a day exploring email, sending messages, going through websites, because like exercise, it's the only way you can keep on top of technology. If you get away from it, you'll lose your edge.
- Brian Tracy  

http://www.dailytenminutes.com/2012/05/seven-cs-of-success.html

Winners Vs Losers

The Winner is always part of the answer;
The Loser is always part of the problem.

The Winner always has a program;
The Loser always has an excuse.

The Winner says, "Let me do it for you";
The Loser says, "That is not my job."

The Winner sees an answer for every problem;
The Loser sees a problem for every answer.

The Winner says, "It may be difficult but it is possible";
The Loser says, "It may be possible but it is too difficult."

When a Winner makes a mistake, he says, "I was wrong";
When a Loser makes a mistake, he says, "It wasn't my fault."

A Winner makes commitments;
A Loser makes promises.

Winners have dreams;
Losers have schemes.

Winners say, "I must do something";
Losers say, "Something must be done."

Winners are a part of the team;
Losers are apart from the team.

Winners see the gain;
Losers see the pain.

Winners see possibilities;
Losers see problems.

Winners believe in win-win;
Losers believe for them to win someone has to lose.

Winners see the potential;
Losers see the past.

Winners are like a thermostat;
Losers are like thermometers.

Winners choose what they say;
Losers say what they choose.

Winners use hard arguments but soft words;
Losers use soft arguments but hard words.

Winners stand firm on values but compromise on petty things;
Losers stand firm on petty things but compromise on values.

Winners follow the philosophy of empathy: "Don't do to others what you would not want them to do to you";
Losers follow the philosophy, "Do it to others before they do it to you."

Winners make it happen;
Losers let it happen.

Winners plan and prepare to win.
The key word is preparation.

http://www.inspirationalstories.com/10/1004.html

Technique:21 Day 'No Complaining' Challenge

Here’s a challenge for you, should you wish to accept – in the book A Complaint Free World, Will Bowen suggests going 21 days without complaining and noticing the huge difference and boost to their health. Why the boost to health? Well, basically because complaining and criticizing… sitting in all the negative stuff has become such a way of life for so many people that it has formed a habit they are completely unaware of. Dwelling on negative things causes stress to our systems and negative effects on your body. Not to mention the effect it has on those around us who pick up on the bad vibes we then, in turn send out to them too.

Our thoughts and attitudes inspire our actions, and our actions create our world. So our thoughts and actions create our world. What kind of world do you chose?  Dr David Hamilton

Want to give the 21 day challenge a go? OK, buy yourself one of those plastic charity wrist bands and pop it on one of your wrists. Now, for the next 21 days for each time you find yourself complaining, criticizing or unfairly judging someone else move the band from one wrist to the other. This is brilliant for bringing your thought habits and behaviors into your awareness. For many people the band gets moved at least 20 times per day initially. But here’s the good news – after the first few days the majority of people find that they can easily go 4/5 days without having to move the band once!

If a wearing a band doesn’t tickle your fancy, then try putting to little plastic cups (like the kind you get at the water dispenser at work) on your desk. Mark one cup A and the other B. Put 20 peas (dry ones!) in cup A at the start of the day. Every time you feel the urge to complain, criticize or judge (either inside your head or out loud) transfer a pea from cup A to cup B. At the end of the day count how many peas you have in each cup. By the end of the week you’ll be surprised at how many fewer peas you’ll have jumping over from A to B. And be feeling much happier, more positive and on the way to better health! Yippeee!

http://www.jaynemorris.com/2010/03/the-power-of-positive-people/