We are at war with the opposites; we reject any opposite that doesn’t match our image of ourselves, and we don’t realize something very important: in reality, there are no opposites. Opposites are a creation of the mind. Only the mind splits reality, splits experiences into two and then seeks one of the opposites and tries to escape the other.
Here’s something that’s crucial to understand: In reality, feelings have no opposite. Energy in the body has no opposite. Life itself has no opposite.
Does this moment have an opposite? Does the presence of life here and now have an opposite? Does anything actually oppose it?
Is an ugly feeling the opposite of a beautiful feeling? Or are they two very different experiences, with different sensations, different tastes? Is a happy feeling the opposite of a sad feeling? Thought would say they are opposites, but outside of thought, can you find an opposite?
In reality, there is no such thing as an opposite of a feeling or emotion. Every feeling and emotion is a complete experience in itself.
Experience itself has no opposite.
Feeling ugly is not the opposite of anything—it’s just feeling ugly. Without calling feeling ugly “negative” and feeling beautiful “positive,” without making them into opposites, we see that feeling ugly is simply an experience happening now—just a wave of experience, just something passing through. No wave is intrinsically better or worse than any other wave, because no wave is the opposite of any other wave. Every wave is equally water. Feeling ugly is not the opposite of anything —it’s just feeling ugly. It’s just life-energy moving in a particular way.
And let’s go deeper. Not only is beauty not the opposite of ugliness, but ugliness is also simply a concept in itself, and as such, it cannot capture the actual present-moment experience. In other words, without the story that what I am experiencing is ugliness, what is actually happening here?
Without the story that what I am experiencing now is failure, what is actually here?
Without the story that what I am experiencing now is pain, or grief, or boredom, or anger, or discomfort, or depression, or confusion, or even seeking, what is actually here?
Without any story about what is happening now, without labeling this experience as “failure” and comparing it with success, without labeling it “ugliness” and comparing it with beauty, without calling it “anger” or “fear” or “pain” and comparing it with its conceptual opposite, how do I know what it is that I am feeling?
As I was saying before, without the story, you have no way of knowing what you are experiencing.
Without any story, without naming the waves, life is simply raw energy moving. It is the ocean— nameless and mysterious. We try to put a label to that energy. We judge it, try to escape it, make it the negative of an opposite positive and then seek the positive.
And yet underneath all of this, we don’t really know what we are running away from in the first place. We simply call a wave “fear,” “anger,” “sadness,” “boredom,” “grief,” “joy,” or “pain” because these are the names and concepts we have learned, and then we try to escape these waves or hold onto them. But take away those labels, and what are you really trying to escape from or hold onto? Do you actually know? What happens when we drop all the labels, all the learned descriptions, and face the raw energy of life, as it is in this moment, without trying to change, escape from, or cling to it? What happens when we drop all descriptions of what this moment is or is not and deeply feel into present sensations?
This is where the real adventure of life begins.
When you go beyond the story of what you are feeling, you come to see that you never really knew what you were running away from. And you meet the raw energy of life. You stand naked in front of life—and this is true healing. It is the falling away of all ideas of how this moment should be.
life—and this is true healing. It is the falling away of all ideas of how this moment should be. It’s when we label the waves that the war begins. The moment we label a wave of experience, we set it up as the opposite of another wave, even though, in reality, waves have no opposite. In every label, there is an implicit judgment. In creating the opposites beauty and ugliness and then seeking beauty, we go to war with what we call ugly. In trying to be beautiful, in trying to feel beautiful, in trying not to feel ugly, we end up going to war with this present experience and trying to reach its opposite—even though it actually has no opposite! No wonder we suffer. We think, “This feeling of ugliness is a threat to my completeness. If I can get rid of it, if I can move from ugly to beautiful, then I’ll be complete.” And the game is on.
What images of yourself are you trying to hold up? What do you want to be seen as? Happy, beautiful, successful, peaceful, blissful, enlightened? Expert? Teacher? The one who knows? The one who has worked everything out? What don’t you want to be seen as? Sad, stressed, unpopular, ugly, unintelligent, a failure? Which images of yourself are not okay? What do you want to feel? What don’t you want to feel? Which waves are not okay in your world?
we want to be whole. We long to allow everything. In the true sense of the word—the wide-open ocean of consciousness in which every wave is deeply accepted.
Why must we hold up stories about ourselves? Why do we need any story about ourselves? Why can’t present experience just be allowed to be as it is, without us pretending it’s something that it’s not?
When you’re no longer at war with the opposites, there is enough room for all of this. All of human consciousness can pass through you. Everything we once called “negativity” is now seen to be part of the celebration of life. All waves are allowed in the ocean. Our ideas about what is negative and what is not are completely released in deep acceptance.
When you discover who you really are—the wide-open space that holds everything—you discover that failure, illness, ugliness, helplessness, uncertainty, and weakness are there to be embraced, not avoided. All waves—including the ones we fear the most, including the ones that seem most threatening to who we are—are already embraced by life’s ocean. What you are is not an image, and it cannot be threatened by any wave. Only an image can be threatened.
Taking your stand as the vast space in which everything happens, and knowing yourself as the capacity for this moment, notice that all feelings—good and bad, positive and negative—are already deeply allowed into what you are. They have been appearing all throughout your life, which is all the proof you need. This total embrace of all waves of experience is the love you have always been seeking.
-Jeff Foster
The Deepest Acceptance Radical Awakening in Ordinary Life
Here’s something that’s crucial to understand: In reality, feelings have no opposite. Energy in the body has no opposite. Life itself has no opposite.
Does this moment have an opposite? Does the presence of life here and now have an opposite? Does anything actually oppose it?
Is an ugly feeling the opposite of a beautiful feeling? Or are they two very different experiences, with different sensations, different tastes? Is a happy feeling the opposite of a sad feeling? Thought would say they are opposites, but outside of thought, can you find an opposite?
In reality, there is no such thing as an opposite of a feeling or emotion. Every feeling and emotion is a complete experience in itself.
Experience itself has no opposite.
Feeling ugly is not the opposite of anything—it’s just feeling ugly. Without calling feeling ugly “negative” and feeling beautiful “positive,” without making them into opposites, we see that feeling ugly is simply an experience happening now—just a wave of experience, just something passing through. No wave is intrinsically better or worse than any other wave, because no wave is the opposite of any other wave. Every wave is equally water. Feeling ugly is not the opposite of anything —it’s just feeling ugly. It’s just life-energy moving in a particular way.
And let’s go deeper. Not only is beauty not the opposite of ugliness, but ugliness is also simply a concept in itself, and as such, it cannot capture the actual present-moment experience. In other words, without the story that what I am experiencing is ugliness, what is actually happening here?
Without the story that what I am experiencing now is failure, what is actually here?
Without the story that what I am experiencing now is pain, or grief, or boredom, or anger, or discomfort, or depression, or confusion, or even seeking, what is actually here?
Without any story about what is happening now, without labeling this experience as “failure” and comparing it with success, without labeling it “ugliness” and comparing it with beauty, without calling it “anger” or “fear” or “pain” and comparing it with its conceptual opposite, how do I know what it is that I am feeling?
As I was saying before, without the story, you have no way of knowing what you are experiencing.
Without any story, without naming the waves, life is simply raw energy moving. It is the ocean— nameless and mysterious. We try to put a label to that energy. We judge it, try to escape it, make it the negative of an opposite positive and then seek the positive.
And yet underneath all of this, we don’t really know what we are running away from in the first place. We simply call a wave “fear,” “anger,” “sadness,” “boredom,” “grief,” “joy,” or “pain” because these are the names and concepts we have learned, and then we try to escape these waves or hold onto them. But take away those labels, and what are you really trying to escape from or hold onto? Do you actually know? What happens when we drop all the labels, all the learned descriptions, and face the raw energy of life, as it is in this moment, without trying to change, escape from, or cling to it? What happens when we drop all descriptions of what this moment is or is not and deeply feel into present sensations?
This is where the real adventure of life begins.
When you go beyond the story of what you are feeling, you come to see that you never really knew what you were running away from. And you meet the raw energy of life. You stand naked in front of life—and this is true healing. It is the falling away of all ideas of how this moment should be.
life—and this is true healing. It is the falling away of all ideas of how this moment should be. It’s when we label the waves that the war begins. The moment we label a wave of experience, we set it up as the opposite of another wave, even though, in reality, waves have no opposite. In every label, there is an implicit judgment. In creating the opposites beauty and ugliness and then seeking beauty, we go to war with what we call ugly. In trying to be beautiful, in trying to feel beautiful, in trying not to feel ugly, we end up going to war with this present experience and trying to reach its opposite—even though it actually has no opposite! No wonder we suffer. We think, “This feeling of ugliness is a threat to my completeness. If I can get rid of it, if I can move from ugly to beautiful, then I’ll be complete.” And the game is on.
What images of yourself are you trying to hold up? What do you want to be seen as? Happy, beautiful, successful, peaceful, blissful, enlightened? Expert? Teacher? The one who knows? The one who has worked everything out? What don’t you want to be seen as? Sad, stressed, unpopular, ugly, unintelligent, a failure? Which images of yourself are not okay? What do you want to feel? What don’t you want to feel? Which waves are not okay in your world?
we want to be whole. We long to allow everything. In the true sense of the word—the wide-open ocean of consciousness in which every wave is deeply accepted.
Why must we hold up stories about ourselves? Why do we need any story about ourselves? Why can’t present experience just be allowed to be as it is, without us pretending it’s something that it’s not?
When you’re no longer at war with the opposites, there is enough room for all of this. All of human consciousness can pass through you. Everything we once called “negativity” is now seen to be part of the celebration of life. All waves are allowed in the ocean. Our ideas about what is negative and what is not are completely released in deep acceptance.
When you discover who you really are—the wide-open space that holds everything—you discover that failure, illness, ugliness, helplessness, uncertainty, and weakness are there to be embraced, not avoided. All waves—including the ones we fear the most, including the ones that seem most threatening to who we are—are already embraced by life’s ocean. What you are is not an image, and it cannot be threatened by any wave. Only an image can be threatened.
Taking your stand as the vast space in which everything happens, and knowing yourself as the capacity for this moment, notice that all feelings—good and bad, positive and negative—are already deeply allowed into what you are. They have been appearing all throughout your life, which is all the proof you need. This total embrace of all waves of experience is the love you have always been seeking.
-Jeff Foster
The Deepest Acceptance Radical Awakening in Ordinary Life
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