- Most pour so much energy into the needs of others, doing a juggling act of children, partner, parents, friends, and work, that little time or energy is devoted to money management.
- Many women depend financially on their husband or partner, which often takes away their courage to “speak their truth.” Stay-at-home mums are usually afraid to ask their husbands for more money because they are not “earning it.” But as Orman points out, you are doing at least half the work in keeping the household going, so that money is yours together, not his.
- Many women also find it difficult to say “No,” wanting to be seen as givers. But if doing so means that you have to use credit card debt to buy things for people, or deplete your own savings to bail others out, or be a cosignee on loans, this will have an impact emotionally as well as financially.
- When your husband has a midlife crisis and wants to risk the equity in your home on a start-up business, you need to be strong enough to say no.
- Many women still love their partners, but they no longer like them due to their financial irresponsibility and unreasonable demands. The more you and your partner talk about your finances and come clean on their true state, the sooner you can have a relationship based on truth. Remember: “It takes more power to say no out of love than to say yes out of weakness.” You must do what is right, not what is easy.
- When you have to support your parents to such an extent that you can’t pay your own bills, you have at some point to say no.
- When your brother asks for a significant loan to help him out of a tight spot, one of many he has been in, you have to draw the line somewhere.
- When it comes to children, be honest with them if you don’t have the money to buy them a $150 pair of jeans. They might not appreciate it now, but you will earn their respect more by being a parent who is solvent and looks to the future. Many women feel terrible if they do not have the means to pay for their kids’ college education, but Orman asserts that if you have to make a choice between your financial security in retirement and their tuition fees, you should be your priority. Help your kids to research early on all the possibilities for aid and scholarships, and have them try working in part-time jobs to get used to paying their way.
Saying no in all such cases may risk the relationship, but it is better to have self-respect than be dragged down by other people’s negligence or unreliability with money. As Orman notes from the experience of those who have been there, when you make financial decisions with a view to saving a relationship, it never works.
Millions of women stay in relationships where there is no love simply because they could not financially make it on their own, or cannot imagine being in control of their own affairs. But Orman asks readers to see things another way: If you can identify what you truly value, then you will take steps to protect it and enlarge it in your life.
You can’t really live life to the full or reach your potential if you remain poor.
Order Your Life
- When you don’t know where your money is, when you have no filing system for your important documents, when you dive into your pocketbook to pull out crumpled bills, when your car looks like a garbage can, when your closets are filled with junk and clutter—I’m sorry, but you can’t possibly be a wealthy woman.
- She suggests giving to charity clothes you have not worn in the last year, and throwing out any unused beauty products. You must have a good system to organize your documents, because only in doing so can you make good financial decisions. If your affairs remain a mess, “Wealth will elude you.”
- Because only women change their surname on marriage, there is an unconscious assumption that women’s names are not as important as men’s. Yet without the ability to say your name confidently and look people in the eye when you say it, you lack power.
- When Orman speaks at women’s organizations, often those involved in setting up the event are asked to stand up in the audience so everyone can applaud them. Most stand up and sit down again quicker than the blink of an eye, squirming back into their seats. Why is the average woman so afraid to take credit for things and to enjoy her name being spoken?
8 Qualities of a Wealthy Women
Qualities 1 and 2: Harmony and Balance
Harmony is an agreement in feeling, approach, and sympathy. It is the pleasing interaction between what you think, feel, say, and do.
Balance is a state of emotional and rational stability in which you are calm and able to make sound decisions and judgments.
The reason why these (2) qualities go together is because you cannot effectively have one without the other. When you have a harmonious spirit, what you say, think, feel and do align with one another. Sometimes we may think or feel one way but say another because we are afraid to hurt someone’s feelings or we fear being rejected. But a woman of true wealth is not afraid to speak how she thinks (always in a respectable manner of course). When what we think, feel, say and do does not align with one another we tend to become emotional, irrational and experience imbalance. Being harmonious makes you balanced, and helps you live in a rational and calm state of mind.
Quality 3: Courage
Courage is the ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty, or pain without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a chosen course of action.
When you have harmony, you words and actions reflect how you actually feel. In order to do that, you must have courage. When you have true courage you’re not a slave to your fear. Courage helps you overcome all fear. But sometimes we lose our courage when we think we’ll hurt others. Fear does not allow us to be courageous. FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real; therefore, do not allow your fears to control you. Whether it’s a fear of losing someone or fear of being scrutinized, learn to conquer your fear by adjusting your thoughts to think positively and step out on faith!
Quality 4: Generosity
Generosity is when you give the right thing to the right person at the right time -- and it benefits both of you.
There is much power in giving and giving from a pure place in your heart. When you give from an honest perspective and you do not expect anything in return, it reciprocates a rewarding feeling that is overwhelmingly pleasing. Be sure to always give from a sincere place in your heart, but be conscious of how you give and realize what your intentions are. Give so that you both benefit, if you give someone money but you cannot afford your bills at the end of the month then you might want to reconsider. Give of yourself, even if it’s your time, but be wise in how much of yourself that you give.
Quality 5: Happiness
Happiness is a state of well-being and contentment.
Happiness is a choice. You can choose to allow situations to mess with your inner happy or you can choose to be happy no matter what life throws your way. Now this is far easier said than done, but you have to start practicing to do so. Practice makes perfect right? Be optimistic about your situations. When you’re harmonious, balanced, courageous, and generous then you can find happiness. If you feel that you’re not happy, try and figure out why and start from there. Maybe you’re not being appropriately compensated at work or you’re tired of always giving of yourself and not having it reciprocated. Think about what’s making you unhappy and develop the courage to choose to do something about it!
Quality 6: Wisdom
Wisdom is the knowledge and experience needed to make sensible decisions and judgments.
Can I just say that is my favorite quality! Ladies, if we do not own and use our wisdom then we can never really live and embrace our legacies. Wisdom shows us how to shut out the noise in our lives. We are inundated with all sorts of noise on a daily basis that can distract us from tapping into our inner power. A wise woman realizes her faults and plans to do something about it. Her faults and mistakes enable her to know better so that she can do better. Being wise means being conscious of your thoughts, words and actions. It’s about accepting responsibility and realizing what you need to do in order to make sensible decisions to get where you want to go in life.
Quality 7: Cleanliness
Cleanliness is a state of purity, clarity, and precision.
Attaining cleanliness is about being orderly and organized. From the way you dress to the way you manage your important documents in the house are a reflection of your cleanliness. You want to always be presentable and your wallet or purse should also be organized. In the home, try to organize your clothes and put all of your important documents in a safe place. Even paying your bills in an orderly fashion is key. Keep all your bills in a folder and date when they’re due so you can pay ahead of time. Learn your credit card billing cycle so you know when to expect a bill or how to spend ahead of time. Being orderly is a task but make an effort to start somewhere, even if that means cleaning out your closet to get some space. Or better yet, start with organizing your wallet or purse perhaps that may be an easier task to being with.
Quality 8: Beauty
Beauty is the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit.
Beauty does indeed shine from within. True beauty is the culmination of all the other qualities working with one another. Your beauty and confidence exude from the inside when you incorporate all these qualities in your character. Be secure in yourself and in your ability, the power to be great lies within. Acknowledging and living in that beyond a doubt makes you beautiful. When you achieve the equilibrium state of these qualities then you are on your way to true wealth!
To ensure their financial freedom, women need to have new respect for their relationship to money and defy cultural conditioning.
-Women and Money, Suze Orman
http://embraceherlegacy.com/8-qualities-of-a-wealthy-woman/
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